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Retirement Countdown Timer
$2.98 - $12.98
How much longer to the big day?

Digital countdown clock display ticks off the days, hours, minutes--right down to the seconds left, until its time to celebrate!

Once the clock reaches the milestone, it can be reset to start over & over through the year 2099.
Animated Bailey The Dog Coin Bank
$2.98 - $24.98
Just place the coin in the dish and watch it 'disappear'!

Place coins in Bailey's bowl and watch the money-hungry mutt gobble til they're gone! Then he sits back up, tongue a-waggin', just waiting for more moolah!

Coins actually slide out of the dish and are deposited into the bank box below, with access through the side.

WARNING: Choking Hazard - small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.
Talking Bow Tie For Dogs
$2.98 - $19.98
With Remote Control!

Add some excitement to that daily walk in the park! Clip the plastic bow tie onto your dog's collar and press the remote to make it sound as though your dog is talking.

Watch passers-by react when they hear funny phrases like, "Mind if I sniff your dog's bum?" "I don't bite--I just want to lick your face!" and 4 more.

Super cute, and just as amusing at home!
Hillary Clinton And Donald Trump Laughing Pens
Laugh WITH them or AT them!

Just press the button on the Hillary ballpoint pen, and it plays her own laughter as the mouth really moves!

Press down on Trump's hair to hear him spout 8 actual sayings from his campaign.

Buy any 2 or more, $13.98 each.
PolitiCrap Donald Dump, Lil' Stinker And Hillary Clinturd Figures
Show your support (or lack thereof) for your "number 2" candidate at the polls!

Lil' Stinker comes with 2 flags to personalize his mini flagpole and help you express that deep-down urge to be a part of a big political "movement." Flags may vary.

Donald Dump hopes to "Make America Regular Again" while Hillary Clinturd hopes to "flush" away the competition.

Both candidate figures feature the likeness of 2 popular presidential hopefuls, right down to iconic hairstyles, facial expressions, and... other stuff.

Buy any 2 or more, $11.50 each.
Slam Dunk Bathroom Game
Sink some free throws from the john!

Bathroom game set includes 3 mini basketballs, holder, suction-cup mountable net with backboard, and floor mat so you can slam dunk while taking a... break. (Did you think we were gonna say "dump?")

Even more satisfying than stalking your ex on social media from the john!

WARNING: Choking Hazard - small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.
Screaming Goat Kit
Why yell at your coworkers, when this little guy can do it for you?

World-famous viral-video sensation stands atop his tree stump, ready to scream in traffic, at school, or in your pocket at the super market with the push of a button.

Includes an illustrated pocket guide for your new friend and his real-life compadres.

WARNING: Choking Hazard - small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.
Blackjack Card Counting Practice Decks
Totally Legal Card-Counting System!

Don't give your money away to the casinos! These unique, high-quality cards with special color-coded counts tell you when to bet, up your bet, or sit it out.

After you practice with these decks, step up to regular decks and try your hand at the tables. Gives you a mathematical advantage over the house at any casino. Since you do all the counting in your head, this system is 100% legal!

Includes 2 decks and green felt tabletop mat with blackjack table layout.
Two Headed And Two Tailed Quarter Set
Never lose a coin flip again!

Set of 2 quarters includes a 2-headed coin, and 2-tailed coin--both genuine Washington quarters with original obverse or reverse sides replaced to make you the winner every time!

These are real coins that will easily fool everyone!
60th Anniversary Ant Farm Habitats
$16.50 - $17.98
Watch the world's tiniest engineers build roads, bridges, dig tunnels, and move mountains--right before your eyes!

Kit includes an ant farm with 4 connecting ports for connecting multiple habitats, tunnelling sand, antway travel tube, tunnel starter tool, ant watcher's guide, and certificate for ordering live harvester ants online.

Assorted colors and futuristic backgrounds; our choice, please.

WARNING: Choking Hazard - small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.

Note: Live ants are ordered by customer directly from manufacturer. Postage & handling required. Delivery of ants may take 2-5 weeks once manufacturer receives order.
Hairbrush And Umbrella Flask
$13.98 - $19.98
Money-saving, easy-to-hide fakes hold your favorite party beverages & go anywhere you do!

Safer and lighter than glass; perfect for picnics, beach, concerts, sporting events, hotel pools, cruises, etc.
Beer Beard
Secretly challenge your liver and still be productive!

Our faux beard makes office meetings, church, and parent-teacher conferences fun again! Drinking straw threads through beard and into your beverage secured by a specially-designed sling that stays concealed beneath your glorious new chin locks.

Note: It's never a good idea to drink at work or school. Maybe at church. Don't operate machinery, hit on teachers, or prepare corporate taxes while using Beer Beard. That would be stupid.
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